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When they got back to London Mildred began looking for the work she had asserted was so easy to find she wanted now to be independent of Philip and she thought of the satisfaction with which she would announce to him that she was going into rooms and would take the child with her. But her heart failed her when she came into closer contact with the possibility. She had grown unused to the long hours, she did not want to be at the beck and call of a manageress, and her dignity revolted at the thought of wearing once more a uniform. She had made out to such of the neighbours as she knew that they were comfortably off it would be a come down if they heard that she had to go out and work. Her natural indolence asserted itself. She did not want to leave Philip, and so long as he was willing to provide for her, she did not see why she should. There was no money to throw away, but she got her board and lodging, and he might get better off. His uncle was an old man and might die any day, he would come into a little then, and even as things were, it was better than slaving from morning till night for a few shillings a week. Her efforts relaxed she kept on reading the advertisement columns of the daily paper merely to show that she wanted to do something if anything that was worth her while presented itself. But panic seized her, and she was afraid that Philip would grow tired of supporting her. She had no hold over him at all now, and.ttering angrily. Philip s heart sank. When Friday morning came he went into the window with a sickening sense of shame. His cheeks were burning. It was horrible to display himself to the passers by, and though he told himself it was foolish to give way to such a feeling he turned his back to the street. There was not much chance that any of the students at the hospital would pass along Oxford Street at that hour, and he knew hardly anyone else in London but as Philip worked, with a huge lump in his throat, he fancied that on turning round he would catch the eye of some man he knew. He made all the haste he could. By the simple observation that all reds went together, and by spacing the costumes more than was usual, Philip got a very good effect and when the buyer went into the street to look at the result he was obviously pleased. I knew I shouldn t go far wrong in putting you on the window. The fact. is, you and me are gentlemen, mind you I psg kits dream league soccer 2015 wouldn t say this in the department, but you and me are gentlemen, and that always tells. It s no good your telling me it doesn t tell, because I know it does tell. Philip was put on the job regularly, but he could not accustom himself to the publicity and he dreaded Friday morning, on which the window was dressed, with a terror that made him awake at five o clock and lie sleepless with sickness in his heart. The girls in the department noticed his shamefaced way, and they very soon discovered his trick of standing with his back to the street. They laughed at him and called him sidey. I suppose you re afraid your aunt ll come along and cut you out of her will. On the whole he got on well enough with the girls. They thought him a little queer but his club foot seemed to excuse his not being like the rest, and they found in due course that he was good natured. He never minded helping anyone, and he was polite and even tempered. You can see he s a gentleman, they said. Very reserved, isn t he said one young woman, to whose passionate enthusiasm for the theatre he had listened unmoved. Most of them had fellers, and those who hadn t said they had rather than have it supposed that no one had an inclination for them. One or two showed signs of being willing to start a flirtation with Philip, and he watched their manoeuvres with grave amusement. He had had enough of love making for some time and he was nearly always tired and often hungry. chapter 106 Philip avoided the places he had known in happier times. The li.
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